i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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