Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
