Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
