Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
