Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
