It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
