No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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