put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
