I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
