Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I had to cum in my sink.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
