YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
