I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
