You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
