The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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