i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
