Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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