did you get engaged???
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
