is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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