hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
a search helicopter?!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
