My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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