She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
