Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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