i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
