I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
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