i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
