okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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