I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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