I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
