Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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