I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
