Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
