did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
