I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
