So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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