Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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