so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
