I'm gonna have a badass scar
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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