So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
