And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
