I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
