All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
