Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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