The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
