Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
