its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
