Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I want her autograph on my taint
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize