you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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