My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize