I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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