apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
