Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Shame - the story of my life.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
