chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
