i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
