Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
