I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
