I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
