You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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