watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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