I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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