she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
