playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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