Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
