I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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