Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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