Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He uses pillows to masturbate.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
