We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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