Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
