You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
