I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
