In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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