Porn is love you can see.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
there is glitter all over my balls
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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